|December 12, 1998|
Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe
We both experienced incredible loneliness at this point. This is not something we could discuss outside our marriage because we both still loved each other and we didn't want to reveal to those close to us how much we were hurting. We didn't want our loved ones to take sides. Doug and I struggled to find spiritual activities that we could both enjoy. In order to keep the peace in our home I would keep my emerging Catholic spirituality to myself. I would hide my Rosary and wear my Miraculous Medal under my shirt because I knew that seeing any Catholic stuff was painful to Doug. I worked on showing love to Doug instead of trying to preach. I secretly watched the Mass on EWTN, and shows like The Journey Home program to help strengthen my faith. After two years of just watching the Mass on t.v. I actually started attending Mass at my local parish. This was the summer of 2008, we had just had our fourth baby, and our first daughter! We would start homeschooling in the fall of that year and there was exactly one homeschooling family in my parish. God arranged for us to meet and they really helped strengthen me as our family started that journey.
|Picture of some of our West End Pro-Life Group|
A few days after Christmas that year I would have a medical emergency that would permanently alter Doug and my relationship. My appendix ruptured, but was misdiagnosed as a kidney infection. Which meant it would be seven days, and with me being on death's doorstep, before I would have emergency surgery to remove my appendix. Normally, appendectomies are a pretty routine, in and out surgery. But because of the seven day delay the infection had spread throughout my body and I had become septic. I spent 10 days in the hospital and required another surgery and four months of modified bed rest and home health care to recover. The surgeon told me it would probably take about a year before I fully recovered, and he was right. If you ever read the book Heaven is for Real, that is probably the closest description of what our family went through (except I didn't get the cool trip to heaven out of it). It's amazing how God uses suffering to strip from us all the unnecessary things in life and bring us back to focus. This time brought some healing in our marriage and caused us to realize what was really important. It brought a subtle turning point in how we related to each other, an appreciation that just wasn't there before. It brought more maturity to our marriage. We would need this in a few years when I would start attending RCIA classes in the Fall of 2010.
Coming up...my last installment in the story and where we are at today.